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Staying Married During Quarantine

Staying Married During Quarantine

We had just drifted off to sleep on a Wednesday night about two weeks ago when my cell phone rang somewhere in the darkness. I reached over to my bedside table and fumbled to grab hold of the ringing device, trying not to wake my husband. As I gathered the strength to say, “Hello,” I could hear the sobbing of what seemed to be a female voice on the other end. The urgency in which I heard, gave me the gusto to say, “Hello,” followed by, “What’s wrong?” I looked at my phone and recognized the number of married couple in Florida we had been counseling via Zoom. After staying up late and watching two episodes of the King of Queens, one episode of, The Martin Lawrence Show and two episodes of, My Wife and Kids, with my husband (some of my favorites show, I was extremely tired). It was then, I prayed and asked God for the wisdom that I needed immediately to help in this situation. The woman through her hysterical sobbing said, “I can’t do this anymore, I have to get out.” I listened as she vented in hysteria. She continued, “I can’t take being quarantined with this man.” I could hear him yelling in the background. The call went on about thirty more minutes as I did everything, I could humanly do to bring peace in the situation. By this time, my husband was up and providing me with things to say. It was at that moment that I realized marriages need help during COVID-19. This question came to mind, “How does a marriage survive QUARANTINE?” We needed to provide support for married couples to “stay married during the quarantine.”

Heightened Sensitivity During Quarantine Are you starting to notice things about your spouse that did not bother you before? It seems like our sensitivity has been heightened. Certain things seem to trigger more instances than normal of reacting impatiently and feeling annoyed. Have you found yourself snapping at your spouse when they ask a question that would usually be normal? Imagine that a married couple normally spends 3-4 good hours a day with their spouse before bedtime, but now that has turned into 24 hours, minus sleep time in most cases, since mandatory quarantine. You may have said in the past that you would love to spend more time with your family and how wonderful it would be. Well, the record has scratched and the DJ stopped playing and here we are together spending all the time together a person could ask for. The first week or two were pleasant. You may have played all the board games you could think of: Mastered Scrabble, Monopoly, Pictionary, Spades, Spit, and even Bingo. Some of us made the tic toc videos, the “rush” challenges, and watched all the home movies we made as a family, over the years. Maybe you even looked through old photos, started new projects, and created new recipes together. Then we started to run out of creative options. As you sat across from each other at the dinner table, you wondered what’s next. COVID-19 has changed life as we knew it. There is still a lot that you can do as a couple to keep the spice flavorful in your marriage. This is a time for you to create a plan for a future you always talked about as a couple. It’s time to write the vision for your legacy. This is time to get down to the nitty-gritty about things you have avoided for months and in some cases years. Start With Intimacy, The Basics… Because we are spending more time together around the house, we may not groom ourselves as we normally would prior to quarantine. The salons and barbershops have been closed and our looks seem to have taken a drastic turn. The beard has grown in like a caveman and the gray hair has displayed a sign of wisdom. The fingernails have extended, displaying the new growth, and a manicure is much more needed than ever before. As you slept in the bed and your feet touched, you woke up with scratches that you did not go to bed with. Somebody is way overdue for a pedicure and my guess would be her. Sex seems to be a thing of the past, because it is not a priority, or it is unimpo